Here's to women... would that we could fall into their arms, instead of their hands.

Here's to happiness... I never knew happiness until I got married. Now it's too late.

Here's to you, here's to me, in hopes we never disagree. But if we do, the Hell with you.... Here's to me!

Here's to marriage, for man is not complete until he's married... and then he's finished.

Here's to the ships of our navy, and to the ladies of our land. May the former be well rigged and the latter be well manned.

Here's to our wives and sweethearts. May they never meet.

Here's to good old whiskey, so amber and so clear, 'tis not so sweet as a woman's lips, but a damn sight more sincere.

Here's to my mother-in-law, who still calls me a son... But I never let her finish the sentence.

Here's to the woman of my dreams, who looks like a million... and is just as hard to make.

Here's to the game they call Ten Toes, it's played all over town. The girls all play with ten toes up, the boys with ten toes down.

Here's to a love, a love that will linger. I gave her the ring... and she gave me the finger.

Here's to abstinence... as long as it's practiced in moderation.

Here's to the flea, that jumped over me, and bit the ass of my little missus.

Here's to King Solomon, ruler and sage, the wisest of men in history's page. He had wives by the thousand, and thought it was fun... Here's hoping you'll know how to handle just one.



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