Printed from Cantaria, a folk song archive.
For an audio example of the song being sung, see: http://www.chivalry.com/cantaria/lyrics/a_clean_song.html

"A Clean Song" is performed by  Jolly Rogers on their album Pirates' Gold, available from the Chivalry Music store. 
Please refer to Cantaria's Copyright information

Notes: A clean song for dirty minds? This song is a word association game that takes little imagination to figure out. You can help your audience "get it" by putting a little extra pause before, or emphasis on, the word that doesn't quite fit. Let them use their rhyming skills to anticipate what word ought to go there.

There was a young sailor who looked through the glass
And spied a fair mermaid with scales on her island

Where seagulls fly over their nests She combed the long hair that hung over her shoulders

And caused her to tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out "There's a beautiful mermaid,"

A-sitting out there on the rocks,
The crew came around a-grabbing their glasses

And crowded four deep to the rail,
All eager to share in this fine piece of news.

Which the captain soon heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel and he reached for his crackers

And cheese which he kept near the door.
In case he might someday encounter a mermaid.

He knew he must use all his wits
Crying "Throw out a line, we'll lasso her flippers."

And then we will certainly find
If mermaids are better before or be brave

my good fellows." The captain then said.
"With fortune we'll break through her mermaiden head-

-ing to starboard they tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid just under her elbows

And hustled her down below decks,
And each took a turn at her feminine setting

Her free at the end of the farce,
She splashed in the waves, falling flat on her after

A while one man noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox and the scratching

With fury, cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull but it's certainly clean.